Back Page Barometer (6/18-24)

In which we gauge the popularity of New York’s major league franchises by using the ultimate indicator: appearances on the back page of The Post and The Daily News.

Visit here to see the headlines each day:
www.nydailynews.com/front/covers
www.nypost.com/frontback.html

A muddled, unfocused week in the land of the back page. A week that saw two rare tabloid occurences- discrepancies between the News and Post in regards to which sports stories they decided to cover, and that most dreaded of all developments: non-baseball sports stories. What's up with that? Baseball should own the month of June, 100%. Let's look at the numbers for the week.

Total Baseball Covers: 10 (7 positive, 3 negative)
News: 4 (3 positive, 1 negative)
Post: 6 (4 positive, 2 negative)

Yankee Covers: 9 (7 positive, 2 negative)
News: 4 (3 positive, 1 negative)
Post: 5 (5 positive, 1 negative)

Met Covers: 1 (negative)
News: 0
Post: 1

The week started out normally enough. The Yanks were in the midst of a decent winning streak, and both papers simply and sensibly devoted their back pages of the 18th and 19th to Yankee positivity. Granted, this positivity wasn't very creative. On June 18th, Matsui was the back cover star (after a game in which he had 5 RBIs), and both papers saw fit to comment on his status as a monster (News: "Monster Night", Post: "Monster Mash"). Goddammit! The guy is a human being. He has feelings, you know. On the 19th, Jeter was the cover boy, as a result of hitting his first career grand slam. This resulted in two yawn-inducers the next morning (News: "Simply Grand", Post: "Slammin").

I hereby nominate "Simply Grand" as the worst headline of the year. Was the News trying to cater to dried-out, cocktail-toting, high-society assholes that day? (At the country club: "Oh, did you see what that dashing Jeter did on the baseball diamond yesterday? It was simply grand".)

But then the week went a little kooky. June 20th was dedicated to the results of the US Open (again, the tabs throwing a bone to the high-society types). This was the first non-baseball cover in tabloid-land since May 8th's Kentucky Derby coverage. Luckily, the Post got back on track with baseball for the rest of the week, even dedicating a their cover on the 23rd to a Mets loss. The Post covering a Met's loss on the back page is a rare event, as they have only done so just six times all season (the most common tabloid cover? A Post cover regarding a Yankees loss-33 of those).

But the News, perhaps emboldened by it's US Open coverage earlier in the week, further shunned the baseball
world by devoting consecutive covers to basketball. Okay, perhap's today's cover is understandable, seeing as how the Spurs won the championship yesterday. But the day before that, their back cover was devoted to a change in NBA labor policy that will allow the Knicks to cut Allan Houston. What's going on here?

Due to the News' baseball negligence, the Post took the lead in total baseball covers for the first time all year (75-74).

Headline of the Week: Post, June 23rd. The Mets lost to the Phils 8-4. This was a result of the bullpen giving up 6 runs over the final three innings. The Post channeled the spirit of the late Tug McGraw with it's headline "Ya Gotta Relieve!" (it is still unclear whether this cover will eventually father a country music superstar).

So, that was the week that was. Let's check numbers for the year to close this one on out:

Season Totals: (there have been 3.6 Yankee covers for every Met cover).

Baseball Covers: 149 (70 positive, 79 negative)*
News: 74 (35 positive, 39 negative)
Post: 75 (35 positive, 40 negative)

Yankee Covers: 116 (52 positive, 64 negative)
News: 56 (25 positive, 31 negative)
Post: 60 (27 positive, 33 negative)

Met Covers: 32 (18 positive, 14 negative)
News: 18 (10 positive, 8 negative)
Post: 14 (8 positive, 6 negative)

*(there has been one baseball cover unrelated to Mets or Yankees)

The Franco-Files #11 (6/15-6/21)

in which we track the exploits of Julio and John Franco, baseball’s two oldest players. They are both named J. Franco. Don't forget that.

Here we are again, at the juncture of space and time in which one must discard all other concerns and focus on one thing: the on-field performance of baseball's most senior veterans. The term "senior veterans" may bring to mind old men hanging at the VFW. That is how Julio (WWII vet) and John (Korea) spend their time in the offseason. But, from April-October, they re-enlist for active duty and spar on the front lines of the baseball battlefield, despite their comically advanced age. Let's see how they did this past week.

As surely as 9/11 was aided and abetted by the US Government do we check in with Julio first.

Julio

Some might recall that when we last left Julio, he was sitting pretty with a .253 average (excellent considering the fact that just a week prior to that he had been mired in the .220s). Well, .253 is not good enough for Julio. Julio dreams big, and in color. He dreams in big colors. Like, mauve. And if you dream in mauve and you're a major-league baseball player on the north side of 45, you want your average to be in the .260s. It's an established fact.

So, Julio went about accomplishing just that this past week. While he only appeared in two games, they were both starts. And he was EXCELLENT in both of them.

On June 16th, Julio returned to the speed-demon ways of his youth. After singling in the 7th inning, Julio proceeded to immediately steal second. Then, after Andruw Jones grounded out, Julio was like, "Fuck second base. It smells bad." So he stole third. He soon scored on Johnny Estrada's double. Secretly, though. Franco wished Estrada had hit a sac fly or an RBI groundout, something that would have made made his steal of third more relevant. Regardless, on the 16th Julio went 2-5, raising his average to .260!

Then came June 18th, in which Julio went 2-4 with 2 runs scored and 3 RBIs! Both of his hits were home runs! Julio became the oldest player in MLB history to have a multi-home-run game, yet another notch in his belt of age-related accomplishments. In fact, it had been almost a decade since the last time Julio homered twice in a game, on September 12th, 1996 when with the Indians. Both of his home runs on the 18th were off of Reds starter Eric Milton. The shame of allowing these home runs caused Milton to melt into a pool of wax in the clubhouse after the game, eventually hardening into a crusty layer. The Reds have put caution tape around this crusty layer, hoping that Milton will soon unmelt and regain his human form.

For the week, Julio went 4-9 with three runs scored, three RBIs, and 2 stolen bases. His average is now at .269, the highest it has been since May 8th.

Oldest Pitcher Faced (week): Eric Milton, Reds, 29 (Julio obviously faced a lot of youngsters this week).
Oldest Pitcher Faced (year): Roger Clemens, Astros, 42.
Youngest Pitcher Faced (week): Ryan Wagner, Reds, 22 (born when Julio was 23).
Youngest Pitcher Faced (year): Gavin Floyd, Phillies, 22.
Total Pitchers Faced (week): 5, who were a combined 105 years younger than Julio (avg. 21 years younger).
Total Pitchers Faced (year): 63, who have been a combined 1000 years younger than Julio (avg. 15.9 years younger).

John

This week was all about action for John. He appeared in 4 games, pitching 3 2/3rds innings. In these 3.2 innings, he allowed 1 run, and 1 inherited runner to score. Not too shabby, especially considering John's first appearance of the week, against Baltimore. John entered the game in the bottom of the 7th (just after shedding a tear during a pre-taped sing-along of "God Bless America" at Enron Field), and just didn't have his "A" game with him. Nor his "B", "C", "D", or "E" game. John brought his "F" game, as in a derogatory adjective that starts with f. He faced three batters, and allowed them all to reach base. Luckily, John''s teammate and good friend Dan Wheeler came in and bailed him out pretty nicely, allowing only one run to score.

John then contributed a solid outing in relief of fellow oldster Roger Clemens on the 17th, as well as a mediocre one on the 19th in which he allowed his inherited runner to score from second.

Finally, on June 20th, John really got his act together. He entered the game in the top of the 8th (against the Rockies) and- bam!- strikes out Ryan Shealy... wham!- strikes out Cory Sullivan...pop!- retires the fearsome Eddy Garabito on a fly-out to right. That's how it's done, John. That's how it's done. John ended the week on a still-active streak of five straight batters retired.

His ERA is at 5.84, opponent are hitting .327 off of him, he has allowed 7 of 23 inherited runners to score.

Oldest Batter Faced (week): Matt Stairs, Royals, 37 (81 cumulative years in that match-up).
Oldest Batter Faced (year): Rafael Palmeiro, Orioles, 40.
Youngest Batter Faced (week): Mark Teahen, Royals, 23 (born while John was 11 days shy of his 22nd birthday).
Youngest Batter Faced (year): Jose Reyes, Mets, 21.
Total Batters Faced (week): 12, who were a combined 200 years younger than John (avg. 16.7 years younger).
Total Batters Faced (year): 47, who have been a combined 671 years younger than John (avg. 14.3 years younger).

Al Leiter ERA Qualification Update (6/13-19)

in which we track the 39 year-old Marlins lefty in his quest for 162 Innings Pitched.

Al's ERA: 6.39
Innings Pitched: 63.1
Marlins Games: 66
Qualifies?: No! (-2.2 innings)

(To qualify for the ERA title, a pitcher must average at least 1 inning pitched for each game played. In the NL, 56 pitchers currently qualify for the ERA title.)

So what's the deal with Al Leiter and his ERA? I'll tell you!

Okay. For the fourth straight week, Al does not qualify for the National League ERA title. But much has been going on in Al Leiter-land. A lot of tumultous stuff. Instead of our usual "you've gotta believe in Al and his ability to qualify" malarkey, let's take a deeper look at what's really been going on.

First off, Al nearly lost his spot in the rotation. On the current Marlins 12 game road trip, there are two scheduled off-days. The Marlins plan was to use a four man rotation during the trip (Josh Beckett, AJ Burnett, Dontrelle Willis, and Brian Moehler), thereby banishing Al to the bullpen.

Al was saved from this fate only because Josh Beckett was put on the DL with a blistered middle finger (hey, I know that feeling). Al was then put back into the rotation to replace Beckett. Phew! That was a close one. We here at Greased Poker Chips don't wish a blistered middle finger upon anybody, but we were nonetheless ecstatic to see Al get re-inserted back in the rotation.

Not that Marlins manager Jack McKeon exactly gave Al a rousing vote of confidence. Said 74 year-old Jack, "We were going to go with the four guys who were pretty successful. Now that you have your need for one, you go back to the other guy."

Uh, "the other guy"? That's Al fucking Leiter you're talking about, Jack. Not some expendable Johnny-Come -Lately. Al Leiter will never be "the other guy". He is simply "the guy". Or even "Mr. Guy", tailoring Alex Trebek's wardrobe in the off-season. Get it straight.

So, back in the rotation, Al got his first start in 8 days just yesterday. Obviously, he had a lot to prove. And he proved it, with his second-best start of the year. Al went 6 innings, allowing two runs, and was the winning pitcher in an eventual 7-5 Marlins victory. Al threw a season-high 117 pitches, but that was nothing to him. "To me, the 100 pitch count is malarkey", he said. Yes, he used the word "malarkey". If Al ever gets released by the Marlins, you can be sure that he will snidely refer to them as the Florida Malarkies.

Perhaps the most encouraging aspect of Al's start yesterday was that he didn't allow a run in the second inning. That has been Al's "trouble inning" all year, as he has allowed 26 of his 46 runs score in this frame during the 2005 campaign. Obviously, the second inning weighs very heavily on Al's mind. Just check out this quote from yesterday. Read it at least three times, slowly and out loud.

"I didn't have a bad second inning," said Leiter, who did face two runners on with two outs. "I was thinking about it, after the second inning. I was thinking, 'Hey, I didn't give up a run in the second inning.' I did have a moment, it was the second inning, and this guy didn't score."

This is the best baseball quote of the year. Greased Poker Chips readers can be assured that we'll be paying extra-close attention to the second inning during future Al Leiter starts.

But for now, bask in the fact that, despite his well-documented troubles, Al is a mere 2.2 innings away from ERA qualification. Al can do it. We just know it.

Al, we love you and are behind you 100%. You are Mr. Guy!

Remember, you can't spell Al Leiter without ERA!

Back-Page Barometer (6/11-17)

In which we gauge the popularity of New York’s major league franchises by using the ultimate indicator: appearances on the back page of The Post and The Daily News.

Visit here to see the headlines each day:
www.nydailynews.com/front/covers
www.nypost.com/frontback.html

This was a week of transition for NYC baseball coverage in the tabloids. It started with a string of Yankee negativity, and ended with a string of Yankee positivity. The week began with the Yanks out on the road, mired in one of their worst trips of the Torre-era (or, as I call it, the "Torrera"). The week ended with the Yanks back in the Bronx, having just completed a sweep of the Pittsburgh Pirates.

The Mets? They continued to exist.

And, once again, both papers covered the same story from the same angle every single day of the week. They've done this every day since May 15th- over a month now. Let's check the numbers for the week:

Total Baseball Covers: 14 (8 positive, 6 negative)
News: 7 (4 positive, 3 negative)
Post: 7 (4 positive, 3 negative)

Yankee Covers: 12 (6 positive, 6 negative)
News: 6 (3 positive, 3 negative)
Post: 6 (3 positive, 3 negative)

Met Covers: 2 (both positive)
News: 1
Post: 1

Okay, the Mets did get their moment in the sun this week. June 11th (against the Angels) was the best Mets game of the year. Pinch-hitter Marlon Anderson tied the game at 2 with a pinch-hit inside-the-park-home-run in the 9th. Braden Looper then let up a run in the 10th, but Cliff Floyd bailed him out in the bottom of the inning with a 3-run walk-off home run. The Mets got both covers the next day (News: "What A Night!", Post: "Inside and Out"), which was surprising since Randy Johnson had pitched a complete game shutout that day as well. That the Mets could get the back cover under these circumstances shows that there is hope for the Amazins, though they've really got to start winning and make some noise in the crowded N.L. East.

And don't worry, Randy Johnson fans. In his second start of the week, he pitched a complete game against the Pirates, and was the the back-page star the next day (News: "Big Shot", Post: "Big Sweep"). Alright, guys, Randy Johnson is freakishly tall. Does that mean every cover devoted to him must mention his height (the same way every cover devoted to Hideki Matsui must mention "Godzilla" or the fact that Hideki is apparently some kind of monster)? How about something along the lines "Fine and Randy", or "Randy New-Man" (after he breaks out of a slump)? If you feel like it's an absolute must to reference his height, at least have the balls to go with "Big Johnson".

And speaking of balls, the Post obviously has a big set of 'em. After the perpetually struggling Jason Giambi hit a 10th-inning walk-off against the Pirates on June 15th, the Post's headline was "Jason Lives". That would be fine, except that the News used that headline on April 14th in reference to some long-forgotten bit of Giambi herosim. Really, have some shame.

Season Totals: (there have been 3.5 Yankee covers for every Met cover).

Baseball Covers: 139 (63 positive, 76 negative)
News: 70 (32 positive, 38 negative)
Post: 69 (31 positive, 38 negative)

Yankee Covers: 107 (45 positive, 62 negative)
News: 52 (22 positive, 30 negative)
Post: 55 (23 positive, 32 negative)

Met Covers: 31 (18 positive, 13 negative)
News: 18 (10 positive, 8 negative)
Post: 13 (8 positive, 5 negative)

The Franco-Files #10 (6/8-6/14)

in which we track the exploits of Julio and John Franco, baseball’s two oldest players. They are both named J. Franco. Don't forget that.

Well, it appears the dog days of summer are upon us. Dog days. How appropriate. Julio and John are reverse-dogs, aging only one year for every seven of existence. And what is dog reversed? GOD. It appears as if the combined life force of Julio and John is equal to God. Or, more likely, they are God. Julio and John: the original Ying-Yang twins. Look for the Baseball Oldster remix of "Badd", coming soon.

So, how did our favorite reverse dogs do this week? Let's take a look.

As surely as Jesus Christ is the one true path to salvation do we check with Julio first.

Julio

Going into this week, Julio was batting a very lackluster .220. Nay-sayers (horse and humans alike) started to bray about how maybe 46 year-olds don't belong in the major leagues. Well, Julio took those nay-sayers to the glue factory with the week that he had. He appeared in 4 games, starting in two of them. His numbers for the week? Oh, a mere 5-8 with 2 walks, 2 runs scored, and 4 RBIs. That's all. All that offensive success raised Julio's average to a much more acceptable .253 (his highest average since May 18th!). What's more, the four RBI's he netted were a third of his season total of 12! Want still more? Last night, Julio hit his third home run of the year, a two-run shot against the Ranger's Pedro Astacio. Astacio was so distraught that he put on a disguise so that reporters in the Ranger's clubhouse would not recognize him. His fake facial hair was obvious to spot, however, and it is a sure thing that the Texas tabloids will soon dub him "Pedro Mus-tachio".

Bravo, Julio, for your stellar performance this week. All of America (minus horses and Pedro Mustachio) salutes you.

Oldest Pitcher Faced (week): Keiichi Yabu, A's, 36. 82 cumulative years in that match-up.
Oldest Pitcher Faced (year): Roger Clemens, Astros, 42.
Youngest Pitcher Faced (week): C.J. Wilson, 24 (born while Julio was wondering if VCRs would ever be invented, because he really wanted to watch Airport '77 again.
Youngest Pitcher Faced (year): Gavin Floyd, Phillies, 22.
Total Pitchers Faced (week): 6, who were a combined 94 years younger than Julio (avg. 15.7 years younger).
Total Pitchers Faced (year): 58, who have been a combined 895 years younger than Julio (avg. 15.4 years younger).

John

Oh, John. I'm sorry that you always have to battle Julio for attention, that you always end up buried beneath the mountains of text devoted to him and his accomplishments. John, I love you. America loves you too. We're all paying attention now. Let's see how your week was.

Well, John pitched in two games this week, accumulating 1 inning of work. He allowed a two hits and a run, unfortunately. But some exciting stuff happened. In John's first appearance (on June 11th vs. the Blue Jays), he entered the game in the top of the 8th inning. The pitcher he was replacing? Roger Clemens. That's right, a 44 year-old pitcher replacing a 42 year-old. The two oldest pitchers in the game appearing back-to-back. Maybe this has happened before, but we here at Greased Poker Chips did not notice (sometimes we get distracted and/or suicidal). Regardless, upon relieving Clemens, John retired Orlando Hudson and was summarily yanked. Unfortunately, the Astros did not have a 46 year-old pitcher to replace him with.

In John's other appearance this week (June 13th against the Oriloes), he faced a whopping four batters (tied for his season high). One of these batters was none other than 40 year-old Rafael Palmeiro. That's right, the oldest batter John has faced so far this year! Perhaps John faced Rafael back when Rafael was on the Cubs (1986-1988). Unfortunately, the few baseball-related documents archaelogists have unearthed from this time-period have been irreparably damaged by moths and mildew, so the world will probably never know. Regardless, in their 2005 meeting, Palmeiro grounded out to first base. Base hit #2976 was gonna have to come off of someone other than John, that's for sure (despite Rafael's attempts to distract John with his massive, Viagra-induced boner).

After this week, John's ERA stands at 6.52. Opponents have hit .310 against him. He has allowed 6 of his 22 inherited runners to score.

Oldest Batter Faced (week):Rafael Palmeiro, Orioles, 40 (84 cumulative years in this match-up).
Oldest Batter Faced (year): Palmeiro! Pay attention!
Youngest Batter Faced (week): Orlando Hudson, Blue Jays, 27 (born while John was in Orlando, on a trip with his high school marching band.
Youngest Batter Faced (year): Jose Reyes, Mets, 21.
Total Batters Faced (week): 5, who were a combined 62 years younger than John (avg. 12.4 years younger).
Total Batters Faced (year): 36, who have been a combined 497 years younger than John (avg. 13.8 years younger).

Al Leiter ERA Qualification Update (6/6-6/12)

in which we track the 39 year-old Marlins lefty in his quest for 162 Innings Pitched.

Al's ERA: 6.75
Innings Pitched: 57.1
Marlins Games: 60
Qualifies?: No! (-2.2 innings)

(To qualify for the ERA title, a pitcher must average at least 1 inning pitched for each game played. In the NL, 56 pitchers currently qualify for the ERA title.)

So what's the deal with Al Leiter and his ERA? I'll tell you!

For the third week in a row, Al Leiter does not qualify for the ERA title! Three straight times this has now happened! But, as always, hope remains. ERA qualifiication is always just one quality start away.

Al's only start this week came on June 11th against the Rangers. Al was matched up one of the few starting pitchers older than him, 40 year-old Kenny Rogers. Kenny, however, is having a career year. He is an ispiration to Al, who is stuck with a case of mid-life ennui.

But on this start on the 11th, Kenny did not bring his "A" game. He allowed 5 runs in his 5 innings of work. This opened the door for Al to get a victory. But Al did not, because he could not muster the strength to pitch a full five innings. Despite a season high 114 pitches thrown, Al only lasted 4.1 innings, allowing 5 runs. The big blow was a grand slam by Kevin Mench. Al never wants to hear that guy's name again. Seriously, don't mench-ion it. The good news is that the Marlins rallied to win, 6-5, saving Al from yet another loss. Al's record remains at 2-6 for the year. The Marlins are 3-9 in games he has started. His ERA jumps .3 points to 6.75.

Try as we might to put a positive spin on Al's season thus far, there's just no way around it: it's been a spectacular disappointment. But, hope remains. Hope always remains. It's the last thing to die.

Remember, you can't spell Al Leiter without ERA!

Back Page Barometer (6/4-6/10)

In which we gauge the popularity of New York’s major league franchises by using the ultimate indicator: appearances on the back page of The Post and The Daily News.

Visit here to see the headlines each day
:www.nydailynews.com/front/covers\
www.nypost.com/frontback.html

In our last "Back Page Barometer", there was only one thing to talk about: the Yankees and their losing ways (of the 14 baseball covers that week, all were devoted to negative Yankees coverage). This week was a bit less pure, a bit more unfocused, though Yankee negativity was still the most common back-page angle. Let's check the week's numbers:

Total Baseball Covers: 14 (6 positive, 8 negative)
News: 7 (3 positive, 4 negative)
Post: 7 (3 positive, 4 negative)

Yankee Covers: 10 (4 positive, 6 negative)
News: 5 (2 positive, 3 negative)
Post: 5 (2 positive, 3 negative)

Met Covers: 4 (2 positive, 2 negative)
News: 2 (1 positive, 1 negative)
Post: 2 (1 positive, 1 negative)

Once again, the Post and the News marched in step with one another, covering the same game from the same angle every single day of the week. In fact, one has to go back to May 15th to find a day when the tabs differed from one another in their back-page coverage. Come on, guys. It's okay to be different. Celebrate diversity. After all, we live in the most diverse city in the world, right? Can't the back pages of the tabloids reflect this?

Despite the identical coverage, there was no overriding theme this week. The Yanks recieved positive coverage each of the two days they won, and negative coverage on 3 of the 4 days they lost. What is significant was that on June 8th, the tabs featured Pedro and the Mets on instead of harping on another Yanks loss. This broke a 14 day Yankee back-page stranglehold, and, amazingly, was Pedro's first cover of the year. He deserved it, after pitching a complete game in which he only allowed two hits (The News responded with "Kickin' Astro", the Post with "Ped-Roll"). Perhaps this headline will signify a trend; as the Mets are closer to first place than the Yankees, the tabs might begin to highlight Amazin' victories over Bomber losses.

A word about today's headlines, which featured the Mets 6-3, 11 inning loss to the Astros (the Yankees were off). Heath Bell was the losing pitcher, giving up 3 runs in the 11th. Poor Heath Bell, he's got a name for the back-pages. Headline writers love it when a player's name can double as a noun (like Bell) or an adjective (like, say, David Wright). The predictable headlines dealing with Bell's defeat were "Bell Rung" (News) and "Bell Busters" (Post). Geez, guys, I bet you came up with those in your sleep.

Headline of the Week: Post, 6/6
The night before a listless Yankee squad was defeated by the Twins 9-3. The Post got admirably creative with it's headline "Minnesota Flats". Yeah, that's right Yankees. You're all just a bunch of flats.

Season Totals: (there have been 3.3 Yankee covers for every Met cover).

Baseball Covers: 125 (55 positive, 70 negative)
News: 63 (28 positive, 34 negative)
Post: 62 (27 positive, 34 negative)

Yankee Covers: 95 (41 positive, 54 negative)
News: 41 (19 positive, 27 negative)
Post: 44 (20 positive, 29 negative)

Met Covers: 29 (16 positive, 13 negative)
News: 15 (9 positive, 8 negative)
Post: 10 (7 positive, 5 negative)

The Franco-Files #9 (6/1-6/7)

in which we track the exploits of Julio and John Franco, baseball’s two oldest players. They are both named J. Franco. Don't forget that.

Hump day! What better way to push one's self up and over said hump than by checking in with baseball's eldest statesmen? When Julio and John started their careers, there was no such thing as "hump day". Everything was flat. Science has come a long way since then.

Do we check in with Julio first? Of course! That's like asking if an elephant likes peanuts.

Julio

Julio appeared in a whopping 6 games this week, starting two of them. That sounds like the optimum amount of playing time for Julio. Unfortunately, Julio didn't hit very well, managing just one hit in eight at-bats. This lowered his season average to .220. But let's focus on the positive! The positive is where it's at! And there were two distinct positives regarding Julio's week that was. Ready? Here they are.

-Julio's one hit this week was an RBI double in the top of the 9th inning vs. the Pirates. This proved to be the game-winning hit, as the Braves held on to win 1-0. As of press time, we here at Greased Poker Chips have been unable to determine whether Julio celebrated his clutch heroics with dinner at Bravo Franco Ristorante (www.bravofranco.com), located a short walk from the Pirates' PNC Park.

-Julio walked 4 times this week (he's only had 9 all year), and three of those were as a pinch hitter. So despite Julio's .125 average for the week, his on-base percentage was a robust .417. Keep up the patient approach, Julio. Sometimes all you need is just a little patience; you have what it takes to make it. Just get on base and let youngsters like Andruw Jones and Johnny Estrada drive you home.

See? Scratch beyond the surface and one can see that Julio's week was a diamond in the rough, waiting for a kind soul to come along and polish it. That soul? Greased Poker Chips.

Oldest Pitcher Faced (week): Rick White, Pirates, 36 (82 cumulative years in that match-up).
Oldest Pitcher Faced (year): Roger Clemens, Astros, 42.
Youngest Pitcher Faced (week): Francisco Rodriguez, 23 (Julio has lived two days for each day Francisco has lived. That's double the life experience, double the tang).
Youngest Pitcher Faced (year): Gavin Floyd, Phillies, 22.
Total Pitchers Faced (week): 6, who were a combined 102 years younger than Julio (avg. 17 years younger).
Total Pitchers Faced (year): 52, who have been a combined 800 years younger than Julio (avg. 15.4 years younger).

John

Well, it was another slow week for John, as he only appeared in one contest. He was forced to spend the majority of his time sitting in the bullpen, pondering his own mortality. That's a lot to ponder; it can get a body pretty worked up. So when John did make his appearance (on June 4th against the Cardinals), he came out blazing. The first batter he faced was ex-teammate Roger Cedeno. Cedeno grounded out. The second batter was David Eckstein, who copied Cedeno and also grounded out. The third was Jim Edmonds, who struck out. Nice try, California Boy. You can't catch up to the blistering heat that is John Franco! This was the longest outing by John all year- an entire inning! It did wonders for his John's fragile psyche. Live for the moment, John, live for the moment. You've got a lot left in you.

For the year, John's ERA is 6.23. Opponents are hitting .306 of of him. 6 of the 22 runners he has inherited have scored.

Oldest Batter Faced (week): Jim Edmonds, Cardinals, 34 (78 cumulative years in this match-up).
Oldest Batter Faced (year): Larry Walker, Cardinals, 38.
Youngest Batter Faced (week): David Eckstein, 30 (born while John was in training to make the Varsity Squad at Staten Island High).
Youngest Batter Faced (year): Jose Reyes, Mets, 21.
Total Batters Faced (week): 3, who were a combined 38 years younger than John (avg. 12.7 years younger).
Total Batters Faced (year): 31, who have been a combined 434 years younger than John (avg. 14 years younger).

Al Leiter ERA Qualification Update (5/30-6/5)

in which we track the 39 year-old Marlins lefty in his quest for 162 Innings Pitched.

Al's ERA: 6.45
Innings Pitched: 53
Marlins Games: 54
Qualifies?: No! (-1 inning)

(To qualify for the ERA title, a pitcher must average at least 1 inning pitched for each game played. In the NL, 57 pitchers currently qualify for the ERA title.)

So what's the deal with Al Leiter and his ERA? I'll tell you!

For the second week in a row, Al does not qualify for the National League ERA crown! This is the first time all season that this has happened in back-to-back weeks. This despite the fact that Al started twice this past week. But, not surprisingly, both of these starts lasted a mere 5 innings. The first, on May 30th, was a no-decision against the Pirates on May 30th. Al pitched well, letting up just one run in his requisite 5 innings of work. The second was on June 4th against the Nationals. Al took the loss, allowing 4 runs in an eventual 7-3 game, his record dropping to 2-6 on the year.

All told for the week (or should we say Al told), Al pitched 10 innings, and allowed 5 runs. This lowered his ERA from 6.91 to 6.45, but still leaves much to be desired.

So what else to say? Al continues to struggle, but he's hanging in there. Root for him extra-hard when he takes on his arch-nemesis' the Texas Rangers on June 10th. ERA Qualification is only one quality start away.

Remember, you can't spell Al Leiter without ERA!

Back-Page Barometer (5/28-6/3)

In which we gauge the popularity of New York’s major league franchises by using the ultimate indicator: appearances on the back page of The Post and The Daily News.

Visit here to see the headlines each day:
www.nydailynews.com/front/covers
www.nypost.com/frontback.html

We're gonna keep things brief this time through. Because last week in tabloid land, there was only one thing going on: Yankees negativity! The Bronx Bombers were a total bomb, losing all their games for the week (including a sweep by the lowly Kansas City Royals), and setting off a fresh wave of back-bage panic. Let's check the numbers.

Total Baseball Covers: 14 (0 positive, 14 negative)
News: 7
Post: 7

Yankee Covers: 14 (0 positive, 14 negative)
News: 7
Post: 7

Met Covers: 0

Whoa! Let's repeat that: Whoa! I don't know if we can ever get all the "Whoa's" out of our system after this week. 14 covers, all Yankees, all negative. From a 17-1 pounding at the hands of the Red Sox to the aforementioned KC sweep to Steinbrenner's inevitable meddling, it was like a return to 1977 in the Bronx. That is to say, pure, unadulterated, unfiltered, beautiful negativity. NYC's favorite kind of energy, glowing splendiferously on the back page each morning. Makes you feel good to be alive.

As we here at Greased Poker Chips have been swamped with things blog-related and otherwise, we're not going to go into too much more analysis this week. But, we've been brainstorming about how to make this a better column, and changes will occur at some point in the near future. Oh, yes. They will occur, as surely as the oncoming 13 game Yankee win streak.

Headline of the Week: Post, June 1st.

The Yanks second loss to the Royals was a game in which Joe Torre was unavailable, as he was serving a suspension for some long-forgotten (to us, at least) discretion. Joe Girardi managed in his place, and the Yanks lost the game 5-3. The Post responded with the headline "Sloppy, Joe", which served as both an insult of Girardi and a report to Torre on how his team fared in his absence.

Season Totals: (There have been 3.4 Yankee Covers for each Met cover).

Baseball Covers: 111 (49 positive, 62 negative)
News: 56 (25 positive, 31 negative)
Post: 55 (24 positive, 31 negative)

Yankee Covers: 85 (35 positive, 50 negative)
News: 41 (17 positive, 24 negative)
Post: 44 (18 positive, 26 negative)

Met Covers: 25 (14 positive, 11 negative)
News: 15 (8 positive, 7 negative)
Post: 10 (6 positive, 4 negative)

The Franco-Files #8 (5/25-5/31)

in which we track the exploits of Julio and John Franco, baseball’s two oldest players. They are both named J. Franco. Don't forget that.

Time flies! It's Wednesday yet again, which means here at Greased Poker Chips we attempt to alleviate the crushing pain of our slow march towards death by checking in with baseball's most ancient duo: Julio and John Franco.

As surely as the sun sets in the west do we check in with Julio first.

Julio

Last week we complained that perhaps Julio was getting too much playing time, that his constant starts might have something to do with his rapidly declining average. Well, Bobby Cox (an avid reader of this column, by the way) took our concerns to heart. This week, Julio did not start any games. Leave starting games to someone else, right Julio? Adam LaRoche can do that. Julio did appear in 4 games, however. The first three were pinch-hit appearances against the Phillies, and all three were failures. But Julio's fourth appearance this week was a rousing success! He pinch-hit in the top of the 6th against TJ Tucker, and came through with an RBI single (his first pinch-hit since April 16th!). He then stayed in the game (playing first base, of course), and got another at-bat in the 9th. This time, Julio connected for a home run!!! This was Julio's second home-run of the year, and went a long way towards ensuring that future 46 year-old major leaguers have their work cut out for them whilst pursuing Julio's age-based records. Chad Cordero gave up this home run to Julio, and he is currently on suicide watch in the Nationals clubhouse.

For the week, Julio went 2-5 (.400). This raised his season average to a still disappointing .229.
Julio's week that was:

Oldest Pitcher Faced (week): Billy Wagner, Phillies, 33 (79 cumulative years in that match-up).
Oldest Pitcher Faced (year): Roger Clemens, Astros, 42.
Youngest Pitcher Faced (week): Chad Cordero, Nationals, 23 (born during spring training of the season in which Julio made his ML debut).
Youngest Pitcher Faced (year): Gavin Floyd, Phillies, 22.
Total Pitchers Faced (week): 4, who were a combined 71 years younger than Julio (avg. 17.8 years younger).
Total Pitchers Faced (year): 47, who have been a combined 708 years younger than Julio (avg. 15.1 years younger).

John

Not a very good week for our favorite 44 year-old situational lefty reliever. Well, it started out fine. On May 27th, John was summoned into a very difficult situation: bases loaded, one out in a one run game. His task: retire Lyle Overbay. Result: successful (he struck him out). But then came May 30th against the Reds. John was summoned to start the 9th inning of a game in which his Astros were down 2-0. He allowed singles to all three batters he faced, then left the game with the bases loaded. All three of these runners scored (as did four more that inning), turning the game into a 9-0 Reds romp. John was very frustrated with his role in making this happen; his screams of anguish could be heard back in his hometown of Staten Island. Upon hearing these screams, Staten Islanders merely shrugged their shoulders. They are used to John's anguish. Regardless, it is worth mentioning that one of the hitters who singled off of John in this game was Sean Casey, making him 3-3 off John for the year. Inexplicably, John was called in to face him again the next night, and Casey hit an RBI double, allowing the runner John had inherited (Ryan Freel) to score. Yes, Sean Casey is 4-4 off John this year, accounting for more than a third of the hits John has allowed for the entire season. Insert your own "Casey at the Bat" joke here.

For the week, John pitched just 2/3rds of an inning, allowing three runs and one inherited runner to score. Hitters went 4-6 off of him.

For the season, John's ERA now stands at 7.04. Opponents are batting .355 off of him (11-31). He has allowed 6 of 22 inherited runners to score (27.3%).

Oldest Batter Faced (week): Ken Griffey Jr., Reds, 35 (79 cumulative years in that match-up).
Oldest Batter Faced (year): Larry Walker, Cardinals, 38.
Youngest Batter Faced (week): Adam Dunn, Reds, 25 (born while John was a libidinous 19 year-old).
Youngest Batter Faced (year): Jose Reyes, Mets, 21.
Total Batters Faced (week): 4, who were a combined 58 years younger than John (avg. 14.5 years younger).
Total Batters Faced (year): 29, who have been a combined 410 years younger than John (avg. 14.1 years younger).