Back Page Barometer (7/23-7/29)

In which we gauge the popularity of New York’s major league franchises by using the ultimate indicator: appearances on the back page of The Post and The Daily News.

Visit here to see the headlines each day:
www.nydailynews.com/front/covers
www.nypost.com/frontback.html

We have to jump straight into the back-page totals for the week. Don't just scroll past it, eager to get to the incisive and delightfully witty analysis that follows. Study it for a moment.

Weekly Totals ("positive" and "negative" refers to the slant of the headline):

Total Baseball Covers: 5 (1 positive, 4 negative)
News: 1 (negative)
Post: 4 (1 positive, 3 negative)

Yankee Covers: 4 (1 positive, 3 negative)
News: 1 (negative)
Post: 3 (1 positive, 2 negative)

Met Covers: 1 (negative)
News: 0
Post: 1

Yes, these numbers are correct. Baseball only graced the back cover five times last week. Meanwhile, you know who was on the cover NINE times? Larry Brown.

Yes, Larry Brown coaching the Knicks is an undoubtedly big NYC sports story. But nine cover stories? 13 over the past two weeks? That's disgusting and absurd. The tabs display a gross lack of priority here, ignoring two active ballclubs in favor of endless rumor-mongering regarding the front-office negotiations of a team that is in it's off-season.

You know what, tabloids? If you're going to ignore baseball, we're going to ignore YOU. Especially you, Daily News, with your six straight Brown covers. The Post admirably covered baseball for the first three days that the News went with Brown (even covering a Mets loss after a Yankee off-day). But even their three straight Brown covers is too much.

Now that Larry is officially the Knick's coach, hopefully the tabs will move back to baseball.

For shame, NYC tabloids, for shame. You have made us feel very disdainful.

No season totals will be posted this week.

The Franco-Files #16 (7/20-7/26)

in which we track the exploits of Julio and John Franco, baseball's two oldest players. They are both named J. Franco. Don't forget that.

Another week, and still no definitive news from John. At this point, we have to assume that his season- and career- are over. John, prove us wrong! Show us that our assumption is nothing more than an island in the Seychelles. To show we are thinking of you, we post this bit of information: In 2005, John allowed 8 of 25 inherited runners to score (32%).

Julio has been hit pretty hard by the disappearance of his similarly monikered fellow oldster. There is now a void in his life that cannot be filled. Or can it? It appears that a guardian angel has arrived in the form of 21 year-old Braves rookie Jeff Francoeur (that is his picture above Julio's at the top of this post).

John Franco was released on July 2nd. On the 7th, Francoeur made his debut, apparently for the sole purpose of providing baseball with another J. Franco (ignore that "eur" at the end of his name. That's French for "irrelevant").

Julio and Jeff were virtually inseparable on the ballfield this past week. Check it out:

7/20: After hitting an RBI double, Julio was knocked in by the game's next batter, Jeff Francoeur.

7/22: After drawing a pinch-hit walk, Julio was replaced on the basepaths by Jeff Francoeur, who scored two batters later.

7/23: After hitting an RBI double, Julio was knocked in two batters later by Jeff Francoeur.

7/26: Pinch hitting in the ninth inning of a tie game, Julio laid down a sacrifice bunt that moved runner Jeff Francoeur to second. Francoeur later scored the game's winning run.

Our conclusion? Well, it should be obvious. Jeff Francoeur is God's way of telling us that it's okay that John is gone now. He will live on in all of our hearts. In the meantime, He will also make sure to provide us with a steady stream of J. Franco(eur)'s to carry on John's legacy. Thanks, God. Really, we mean it. Thanks.

Julio's March to 2500 Hits: For the week, Julio went 3-for-8, raising his season average to .276. Those three hits raised his career total to 2499! Check back next week for what is sure to be a celebration of Julio's 2500th hit!

And now, a recap of Julio's week that was:

Oldest Pitcher Faced (week): Mike Stanton, Nationals, 38 (86 cumulative years in that match-up).
Oldest Pitcher Faced (year): Roger Clemens, Astros, 42.
Youngest Pitcher Faced (week): Brian Bruney, Diamondbacks, 23.
Youngest Pitcher Faced (year): Gavin Floyd, Phillies, 22.
Total Pitchers Faced (week): 7, who were acombined 126 years younger than Julio (avg. 18 years younger).
Total Pitchers Faced (year): 88, who have been a combined 1457 years younger than Julio (avg. 16.6 years younger).

The Al Leiter Battle for ERA Qualification (7/18-7/24)

That look on Al's face kind of says it all. For this week Al came down from the giddy high that was his first Yankee start. Let's examine this start and it's repercussions on Al's quest to pitch 162 innings. For this is a feature ...

in which we track the 39 year-old YANKEE lefty in his quest for 162 Innings Pitched.

Innings Pitched: 92.1

Yankee Games: 97

Qualifies: No? (-4.2 innings)

It's always a bad sign when Blogger forces us to double space when we do not wish to double space. An omen, a harbinger of disappointing information to come.

For Al does not qualify for the Major League ERA title, for the ninth straight week. His most recent start, and second for the Yankees, was on Friday night vs. the Angels. Everyone was anxious to see if Al would retain the dominating stuff he possessed vs. the Red Sox the previous Sunday. It was not to be. Al got hit around quite a bit, yielding six runs on 10 hits over six innings of work. He was the losing pitcher in a 6-3 ballgame, dropping to 1-1 with the Yanks and 4-8 on the year. His A.L. ERA rose to 5.11, overall it stands at 6.43.

Second Inning Update: And wouldn't you know it, the second inning was what killed Al in his start on Friday. He let up four runs in this frame. Here's how the inning went, if you were scorong at home: 1B, F8, 1B, BB, 1B (scoring two), 1B (scoring two, the second a result of Al's throwing error), F7, 6-3.

Whew! The curse of the second inning returns for Al. He can not escape it, no matter what uniform he dons. He has now allowed four of his seven Yankee runs in the second inning (57%), and 31 of 68 overall ( 46%). This is freakish.

Al will get another chance with Yanks on Wednesday. If he reliably gets the ball every five days for the rest of the year, he'll get to 162 innings pitched. It would be just great if that could happen. But Al is on a short leash, one or two more bad starts and he could be tossed aside like so many rosin bags.

Al, take one game at a time, and hang in there. Everyone else: ROOT FOR HIM!

Remember: You can't spell Al Leiter without ERA!

Back Page Barometer (7/16-7/22)

In which we gauge the popularity of New York’s major league franchises by using the ultimate indicator: appearances on the back page of The Post and The Daily News.

Visit here to see the headlines each day:
www.nydailynews.com/front/covers
www.nypost.com/frontback.html

Back on schedule! Just two days after our last "Back Page Barometer", we right this sinking vessel known as H.M.S. Greased Poker Chips by offering you a fresh installment, up-to-date and on time. That's not easy, you know. This stuff doesn't write itself. Well, the numbers write themselves. We're just gonna sit back and watch the magic happen. Numbers, do your thing!

Weekly Totals ("positive" and "negative" refers to the slant of the headline):

Total Baseball Covers: 10 (7 positive, 3 negative)
News: 5 (4 positive, 1 negative)
Post: 5 (3 positive, 2 negative)

Yankee Covers: 10 (7 positive, 3 negative)
News: 5 (4 positive, 1 negative)
Post: 5 (3 positive, 2 negative)

Met Covers: 0

Ok, let's start with an observation directly related to these numbers.

Shea? It Aint So: The Mets were shut out from back page action for the first time since the week of May/28-6/3. Granted, the Yanks are a more compelling story right now, as they're in the thick of a heated pennant race. But the Mets are in the midst of a four-game win streak. They just swept the Padres. They're 5 1/2 games out of first, certainly not buried. Hey, tabs! Get your noses out of A-Rod's crotch and Larry Brown's ass and start paying at least cursory back-page attention to the Metropolitans!

Larry Brown?: Yeah, Larry Brown's bailout from Detroit and subsequent wooing by the Knicks has been a huge sports story 'round these parts. This should be illegal, as it is BASEball season, not BASKETball season. These two sports do not mix, despite Trey Parker-led attempts to the contrary. The rumors surrounding Brown netted four covers this past week, the most of any non-baseball story during the baseball season. There's more to come, too.

But What About the Yanks?: Good question, little boy. Of the 10 Yankee covers this week, 7 were positive. This put them over the top- positive coverage of their exploits now outnumbers the negative by a score of 82-78 (which is also likely to be the Mets record after 160 games, but, hey, ya gotta believe)! The Yanks have been playing well, despite the fact that their starting rotation is in tatters. Mussina and Johnson and pray for a monsoon. Anyone get that reference? It's a baseball reference. The tattered state of the Yankee rotation has resulted in a string of largely anonymous hurlers being called in to start. Like Tim Redding, who allowed six runs in an inning of work as the Sox beat the Yanks 17-1. The next day, both tabs featured a pic of Redding burying his nose in his his armpit. "Stinker!", proclaimed the News. "The Pits", trumpeted the Post.

Later in the week, Aaron Small became the most recent Yankee to start a game. He pitched well enough, allowing three runs over 5 1/3 innings to get the victory. The News headline the next day featured a picture of Aaron and the headline "Biggie Small". Biggie Small! NYC is the birthplace of hip-hop. The tabs need to feature more hip-hop themed covers. Like, if the bullpen trio of Tom Gordon, Buddy Groom, and Alex Graman helped preserve a Yankee win, the headline could be "G-Unit!". Or, if the tabs want to stay on the Biggie Smalls tip, they could do a Randy Johnson-themed "Big Poppa" cover (and by the way, there was yet another Big-themed Randy cover this week, the News' "Coming Up Big" on July 17th).

Of course, there was one more new starter for the Yanks this week. This one was not anonymous. This one was none other than Al Leiter! Which brings us to our...

Headline of the Week: GPC readers are already aware of how brilliantly Al pitched on Sunday evening against the Red Sox. The tabs responded with two glowing Leiter covers the next day. The News went with the rather pedestrian "Leit's Out". The Post went with our favorite headline of the year: "Almazing!" (see top of post). Stare at this headline for at least five minutes straight. It is like looking into the eyes of God.

We here at GPC are hoping against hope, praying against prayer that Al's stint with the Yanks is succesful, and that our "Al Leiter ERA Qualification Updates" can blend seamlessly into analyzing Al's back-page appearances on "Back Page Barometer". That would be the greatest thing ever, and would inject an extra dose of meaning into our existences.

You know, sometimes it feels good just to be alive. Let's build on this rare moment of contentment by dumping a bunch of numbers onto the page:

The Season Totals (there have been 4.1 Yankee covers for every Met cover):

Baseball Covers: 201 (105 positive, 95 negative, 1 neutral)*
News: 100 (52 positive, 48 negative)
Post: 101 (53 positive, 47 negative, 1 neutral)

Yankee Covers: 160 (82 positive, 78 negative)
News: 79 (40 positive, 39 negative)
Post: 81 (42 positive, 39 negative)

Met Covers: 39 (23 positive, 16 negative)
News: 21 (12 positive, 9 negative)
Post: 18 (11 positive, 7 negative)

*(there has been one Post baseball cover unrelated to Mets or Yankees, and one featuring both equally).

The Franco-Files #15 (7/13-7/19)

in which we track the exploits of Julio and John Franco, baseball's two oldest players. They are both named J. Franco. Don't forget that.

Things are still very unsettled in the world of Julio and John. Well, it's actually John's world that is unsettled. As reported last week, John was dumped by the Houston Astros. Since then, we have heard nary a peep from the lefty reliever. Well, we did hear a peep- it was reported in the Daily News on Tuesday that in the wake of GPC star Al Leiter's dominating Yankee debut, John was one of Al's ex-teammates who called to congratulate him.

That's all well and good, but shouldn't we be reading stories in the News (and elsewhere) about John, his whereabouts, and his future plans? He still hasn't announced his retirement. All we're looking for here is some closure. You can't move on without closure.

To show John that we're thinking of him, we'll pause a moment and post his some numbers relating to his 2005 campaign:

Oldest Batter Faced (year): Rafael Palmeiro, Orioles, 40.
Youngest Batter Faced (year): Jose Reyes, Mets, 21
Total Batters Faced (year): 56, who have been a combined 819 years younger than John (avg. 14.6 years younger).

As distracting as the John Franco situation has been, we must move on and still attend to our day-to-day lives. With that in mind, we'll now proceed to the still very-active Julio Franco.

Julio

In the midst of John's release last week, we did not report on Julio. So, without further ado, here's a recap of Julio's last TWO weeks (7/6-19).

Oldest Pitcher Faced (2 weeks): Roberto Hernandez, Mets, 40. (86 cumulative years in that match-up).
Oldest Pitcher Faced (year): Roger Clemens, Astros, 42.
Youngest Pitcher Faced (2 weeks): Sergio Mitre, Cubs, 24. (He's just a lot longer than Julio, okay?)
Youngest Pitcher Faced (year): Gavin Floyd, Phillies, 22.
Total Pitchers Faced (2 weeks): 11, who were a combined 177 years younger than Julio (avg. 16.1 years younger).
Total Pitchers Faced (year): 81, who have been a combined 1330 years younger than Julio (avg. 16.4 years younger).

Despite the fact that we have to cover double the usual ground, Julios' been pretty quiet these past two weeks. There are two reasons for this. First, it is hard for Julio to concentrate when the fate of John is still up in the air. We've already established this. Second, the All-Star break was within the last two weeks. This meant there were fewer opportunities for Julio to suit up and play. Here at GPC, however, we feel that it was outright robbery that Julio was not invited to Detroit to participate in the mid-summer classic. He is the very definition of the word. He is a shooting star, breaking the mold.

Regardless, over the past two weeks, Julio appeared in 6 games, starting 4. Over these six games, he went 3-for-15 (.200) with a home run (off of Mark Prior on July 7th), sac fly, and two walks. He is now batting .271. After the month of June, in which Julio was absolutely torrid, breaking age-based records on a near-daily basis, things have cooled off for him. No matter. Baseball is a game of ups and downs. Julio takes it all in stride.

It is interesting that on July 15, Julio faced a pitcher in his 40s (Roberto Hernandez) for just the second time all year (the first was Roger Clemens). Julio hit into a 1-6-3 double play off of Hernandez, dropping to 0-4 off of 40+ pitchers for the year. In fact, 39 year-old Tom Glavine started the game, and Julio went 0-2 with a walk off of him. This was the third time Julio faced Glavine this year, and he is now 0-8 against him. Julio! This lack of success against your fellow oldsters is distressing. You are the king of the oldsters!

In the second half there are three things Julio has to look forward to:
1. Through the 19th, Julio has 2496 hits. Next week we'll update our readers on Julio's march to 2500 hits!
2. Should Julio homer after August 11th, he'll be the oldest player to do so. EVER.
3. August 23rd is Julio's 47th birthday. Pretty much everything he does from that point on will put him in the record books, because in MLB history, 47 year-olds have barely done a thing. That's because by age 47, most players are 15 years retired, nursing a scotch and water in some dingy bar, reminiscing on what could have been.

Not Julio, he is aware that life is always to be enjoyed in the present tense. All we ever have is the eternal now. Julio will continue to make the most of the eternal now. He is truly inspiring.

Julio, good luck in the second half. We'll be rooting for you! And John, wherever he is, is rooting for you, too. It's up to you now to keep the J. Franco accomplishments flowing.

The Al Leiter Battle for ERA Qualification (7/11-7/17)

Whoa! Sorry we were late on this one. For this is the craziest Al Leiter ERA update of them all. No doubt many GPC readers have heard about the latest development in Al's 2005 campaign:

Al is no longer a Florida Marlin. Al is a New York Yankee!

Al was "designated for assignment" by the Marlins on July 14th, an unsurprising culmination to his abominable first half, in which he went 3-7 with a 6.64 ERA. Here at GPC, this news hit us hard, coming as it did on the heels of fellow GPC star John Franco's release from the Houston Astros.

"Oh, no!", we thought. "Is Al's career over?" We refused to believe such a thing. After all, just last year Al finished with a respectable 10-8 record and a 3.21 ERA with the Mets. 39 years old or not, the man's got something left. We just knew it.

The Yankees knew it too. Their rotation decimated by injuries, the Yanks have been looking far and wide for a reliable 5th starter. When Al became available, they were the first in line. After all, Al's got NYC experience, starting his career with the Yanks before spending1998-2004 as a Met. And seeing how New York is baseball-obsessed, and the Yanks have been surging towards first place, LOTS of attention was given to the Al Leiter pursuit. In fact, hizzoner Mayor Bloomberg helped broker the deal himself. This story made the FRONT page of the Post on Saturday, with the headline "Wild Pitch". Apparently, Al and the mayor are buddies- Al's a stalwart Republican, and has the mayor's ringing endorsement should he ever throw his (Yankee) hat into the political fray.

We here at GPC are certainly not fans of the Republican agenda, but we're certainly willing to overlook Al's nefarious affiliations. After all, this is baseball. This transcends politics. We were rooting extra-hard for Al to return to NYC.

And indeed he did, just in time to start on Sunday evening in a very important match-up with the Boston Red Sox. Al was lights out, allowing just one run in 6.1 innings en-route to being the winning pitcher in a 5-3 Yankee win. He struck out a season-high 8 batters, and looked like an artist on the mound, painting in bold strokes, adding idiosyncratic flourishes to just about whatever he pleased. He made the Red Sox look like a bunch of bush-league chumps.

All of this brings us to the usual focus of the column...

in which we track the 39 year-old YANKEE lefty in his quest for 162 Innings Pitched.

So, with Al's switch to the American League, it will be impossible for him to qualify for the ERA title in either league. What he CAN aim for, however, is 162 innings pitched. This will- in our minds, at least- make him eligible for the Major League ERA title. To be considered on pace for for 162 innings pitched, he will need to have at least as many innings pitched as Yankee games played. Here's where he stands through 7/17:

Innings Pitched: 86.1
Yankee Games: 90
Qualifies: No? (-3.2 innings)

So, for the 8th straight week, Al is not on pace for 162 innings pitched. But, there is hope. If he continues to pitch well, Al can solidify himslef as a member of the Yankee rotation and get back on track for 162 innings pitched. We just know he can do it. Root for Al on Friday night we he goes against the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim.

And, remember, you can't spell Al Leiter without ERA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Back Page Barometer (7/9-7/15)

In which we gauge the popularity of New York’s major league franchises by using the ultimate indicator: appearances on the back page of The Post and The Daily News.

Visit here to see the headlines each day:
www.nydailynews.com/front/covers
www.nypost.com/frontback.html

Well, we here at GPC running behind. This "Back Page Barometer" is already five days late. In fact, another installment is due in just another two days (let's hope we can get that one in on time). With that in mind, and the awareness that much of this information is already obsolete, we're gonna make this a quick one. Quick, however, can still mean awesome. We still intend to be awesome. Don't worry about that.

Weekly Totals ("positive" and "negative" refers to the slant of the headline):

Total Baseball Covers: 14 (9 positive, 5 negative)
News: 7 (4 positive, 3 negative)
Post: 7 (5 positive, 2 negative)

Yankee Covers: 12 (9 positive, 3 negative)
News: 6 (4 positive, 2 negative)
Post: 6 (5 positive, 1 negative)

Met Covers: 2 (negative)
News: 1
Post: 1

This was a strange seven days for the tabs. It was hard for them to get in a rhythm, what with the All-Star break floating around in the middle of the week like a Charlie Hough knuckleball. The tabs were like Geno Petralli trying to catch said knuckleball, scurrying all around looking for anything relating to that deceptive white sphere. Yes, the All-Star break meant no meaningful baseball action for three whole days! Oh, the Humanity!

The Spice of Life: Before the aforementioned All-Star break, the tabs started the week with some unusual cover choices. Rather than marching in step like usual, they courteously divided the baseball stories amongst themselves. This meant on Saturday (the 9th), the News highlighted the Mets (horrendous) 6-5 loss to the Pirates ("The Pitts"), while the Post went with a Yanks victory. The next day, they switched. The News put the Yanks on the cover (an 8-7 loss to the Indians), while the Post went with the Metropolitans (who lost to the Buccos yet again).

We here at GPC continue to advocate for increased increased back-cover discrepancies between the two papers. After all, variety is (see bold-faced type at top of previous paragraph for conclusion to this sentence)

Filling the Void: Three whole days without baseball! What's a scandal-sheet to do? What are sports-inclined straphangers supposed to read? Both tabs did their best to fill the void. They really had to stretch on Tuesday the 12th, when they each reached back and relied on their favorite Yankee, Gary Sheffield, who is seemingly never at a loss to say something negative. Sheff apparently warned the Red Sox not to mess with A-Rod, like Catcher Jason Varitek did a year ago. "Don't Mess With A-Rod!" screamed the Post.

Meanwhile, Sheffield also said he would not play in Major League Baseball's post post-season World Cup-styled "World Tournament", scheduled for November. Check out the News' headline, at the top of this post. It's like he's telling the headline itself that he refuses to play. Hey, Sheff! The tournament's not until November! Step back into the batter's box and finish your at-bat. You can point menacingly at 48-point type after the game.

Let's End This: You said it, bold-face type. Here are the season totals (there have been 3.8 Yankee covers for every Met cover):

Baseball Covers: 191 (98 positive, 92 negative, 1 neutral)*
News: 95 (48 positive, 47 negative)
Post: 96 (50 positive, 45 negative, 1 neutral)

Yankee Covers: 150 (75 positive, 75 negative)
News: 74 (36 positive, 38 negative)
Post: 76 (39 positive, 37 negative)

Met Covers: 39 (23 positive, 16 negative)
News: 21 (12 positive, 9 negative)
Post: 18 (11 positive, 7 negative)

*(there has been one Post baseball cover unrelated to Mets or Yankees, and one featuring both equally).

The Franco-Files #14 (7/6-7/12)

in which we track the exploits of Julio and John Franco, baseball's two oldest players. They are both named J. Franco. Don't forget that.

14 installments in, the Franco-Files has developed a nice, easy, predictable rhythm. But as we all know, nothing stays nice, easy, and predictable for too long. Something always happens to knock one out of his complacent mindset, a reminder that existence is a crushing, oppressive force that will eventually consume all of us. The gaping mouth of the eternal void awaits.

But we must fight the void. Rage against the dying of the light and all that. That's certainly why we track John and Julio so meticulously. Their light has never died.

Or has it?

Today, we do not check in with Julio first. We check in with John. For a horrible thing has happened to him. On July 2nd, he was designated for assignment by the Astros. This means that the Astros have 10 days (through today) to decide what to do with him. Their options are to trade him, send him to the minors, or release him. Or, John could just announce his retirement. None of these things have happened yet, and here at GPC we are extremely anxious to see what will transpire.

We here at GPC apologize for not updating our readers about this development sooner. We felt like parents who just couldn't work up the guts to tell their children they are getting a divorce. But we cannot expect to shield our readers from life's difficult moments, and pledge to be more forthright in the future when tragedy strikes (as indeed it will, probably when we least suspect it).

To John, we sincerely hope that you find a way to continue your MLB career. We here at GPC love you very much, and will always support you, no matter what happens.

We'll be back next week with a new installment of the Franco-Files (including the usual Julio update). But for now, all our thoughts are with John, as we wait to see what happens.

Do not go gentle into that good night, John.

The Al Leiter Battle for ERA Qualification (7/4-710)

Like life itself, the first half of Al's 2005 campaign was a maddening swirl of unfocused, inconsistent energy. It was very disappointing, as Al was beaten up pretty badly by Senior League batsmen on a regular basis. Has this been a momentary setback, or an indication that 39 1/2 year old Al no longer can be expected to be a quality pitcher who qualifies for the ERA title?

Only time will tell. Just remember that Al receives unconditional love and support from us here at GPC no matter what he does. For now, let's look at the week that was, as part of this regular feature in which we...uh...

in which we track the 39 year-old Marlins lefty in his quest for 162 Innings Pitched.

Al's ERA: 6.64
Innings Pitched: 80
Marlins Games: 86
Qualifies?: No! (-6 innings)

(To qualify for the ERA title, a pitcher must average at least 1 inning pitched for each game played. In the NL, 54 pitchers currently qualify for the ERA title.)

So what's the deal with Al Leiter and his ERA? I'll tell you!

For the seventh straight week, Al is nowhere to be found on the list of National League ERA qualifiers. Just like last week, he remains 6 innings off the pace.

This despite the fact that he made two appearances last week. The first was his season debut out of the bullpen. This development had long been threatened, but it was still disappointing to see it come to fruition. It was Al's first appearance in a relief role since 1993 (when with the Toronto BJ's). He entered the game in the third inning, replacing Josh Beckett. Beckett left the game with a left oblique strain. How a strain "expresses itself indirectly", we're not sure. Al started off shaky, no doubt confused by the fact that he was pitching in a game that someone else had started. He allowed three straight two-out hits that scored two runs (one charged to Beckett), then settled down and pitched a scorless 4th and 5th inning. Not bad, Al, not bad.

Josh Beckett's aforementioned strain landed him on the DL, propelling Al back into the rotation! He started on Sunday. Here was a chance for Al to prove that this was where he belonged, to end the season's first half with a commanding performance. It was not to be. He only lasted three+ innings, allowing 6 runs (5 earned) on 6 hits and 5 walks. 12 of the 20 batters he faced reached base. The Marlins went on to lose 9-2. Al's won-loss record fell to 3-7.

"Aaaaaaaaarrrrrrggggghhhhhhhhhhhh!" cried Al's soul after the game. This is a man in serious psychic pain. We here at GPC share this pain. Al, make the all-star break the "Al-star" break. Relax. Forget about baseball. Remember to enjoy each moment on God's green earth for the precious gift that it is. Just breathe.

Then go out there in the second half with a vengeance, and annilihate every motherfucker who says you're washed up. Sorry to be harsh, but drastic times call for drastic action.

Second Inning Update: The second inning is Al's trouble inning. But on the 10th, he allowed no runs in this inning, getting knocked for runs in both the third and fourth frames. Still, in the first half, 27 of Al's 61 runs were allowed in the second (44%). Things are improving here, slowly but surely.

To close, here's a quote from Al on how he intends to approach the second half:

"I'm aware of my numbers and what's being said," Leiter said. "In my second half, I'll try not to look at the numbers, and hear the comments of the first half. I'll look at [numbers] as all zeroes."

He also should have added: "You can't spell Al Leiter without ERA!"

Back-Page Barometer (7/2-7/8)

In which we gauge the popularity of New York’s major league franchises by using the ultimate indicator: appearances on the back page of The Post and The Daily News.

Visit here to see the headlines each day:
www.nydailynews.com/front/covers
www.nypost.com/frontback.html

The Yankees are on a roll, their back-page domination continues unabated. And in a sign that happier times are on the way, positive back-page baseball covers finally outnumber the negative for the year. First, the numbers for the week:

Total Baseball Covers: 14 (12 positive, 2 negative)
News: 4 (3 positive, 1 negative)
Post: 6 (4 positive, 2 negative)

Yankee Covers: 12 (10 positive, 2 negative)
News: 6 (5 positive, 1 negative)
Post: 6 (5 positive, 1 negative)

Met Covers: 2 (positive)
News: 1
Post: 1

Yep, the News and the Post marched in rhythm all week, covering the same story from the same angle day after day after day after day after day after day after day. They do that sometimes.

Big Yawn: On July 2nd, Randy Johnson was the back-page subject, after getting shelled by the Tigers the night before. The News proclaimed him to be "Big Dud", while the Post dubbed his sub-par performance a "Big Mystery". Add these covers to previous big-themed Randy covers: "Big Shot", Big Sweep", "Big Bummer", "The Big Disgrace", and "Big Start".

Big Turnaround: Jason Giambi, who has had a very difficult year and a half (to say the least), is finally starting to play well again, and the tabs are taking notice. He was the cover star four times last week, as the tabs covered his heroics in a wholly positive fashion (typical was the News' July 6th headline, which featured Giambi connecting for a home run and the headline "G-Force"). This is significant, considering Giambi's back covers up to this point were largely concerned with his lack of hitting, steroid abuse, and possible demotion to the minors.

Big Back-Page Debut: Since Chien-Ming Wang made his debut for the Yanks a few months ago, you just know the tabs were chomping at the bit to use a "Chien Music" headline. Well, on July 3rd, Wang pitched 7 scoreless innings, and both the News and Post responded with just that. Hey guys, why not "Big Wang"?

Big Rip-Off Artists: For the second time in two weeks, the Post used a headline previously used earlier in the season by the News. That should be illegal! On 7/7, both tabs featured their lone Mets cover for the week (of course, the Yanks didn't play the day before). A key moment in the game was when Aaron Heilman entered in the 6th inning, bailing Tom Glavine out of a tight spot, which helped to preserve his (and the Mets') eventual victory. The Post's headline was "Thank Aaron", which the News used on April 26th after Heilman got the victory in a 5-4 Mets win over the Nationals.

I guess it's too much to ask the Post to have at least a little shame. They're owned by Rupert Murdoch.

Headline of the Week: A good sports headline often manages to find a way to incorporate current non-sports events, in an attempt to, uh, capture the zeitgeist. On July 4th, the Yankees won a wild game, scoring 7 runs in the 8th inning to win 13-8. The Post responded with "Live 8th". It is unclear whether the Yankee's big inning was motivated by their burning desire to alleviate world hunger.

Damn, this has been a great "Back Page Barometer", if we do say so ourselves. Let's check the season totals to close this one on out.

Season Totals: (there have been 3.7 Yankee covers for every Met cover).

Baseball Covers: 177 (89 positive, 87 negative, 1 neutral)*
News: 88 (44 positive, 44 negative)
Post: 89 (45 positive, 43 negative, 1 neutral)

Yankee Covers: 138 (66 positive, 72 negative)
News: 68 (32 positive, 36 negative)
Post: 70 (34 positive, 36 negative)

Met Covers: 37 (23 positive, 14 negative)
News: 20 (12 positive, 8 negative)
Post: 17 (11 positive, 6 negative)

*(there has been one baseball cover unrelated to Mets or Yankees, and one featuring both equally).

The Franco-Files # 13 (6/29-7/5)

in which we track the exploits of Julio and John Franco, baseball's two oldest players. They are both named J. Franco. Don't forget that.

A quiet week for our heroes: no bombastic acts of screaming-loud heroism, nor ignominious acts of grating failure. Just a lot of sitting around, waiting by the phone, waiting for someone to call them up and tell them they're not alone.

Of course you're not alone, Julio and John! You are heroes! See in the sand over there, where there is only one set of footprints? It is there that we, baseball fans at large, carried you.

As surely was Laverne' s best friend do we check in with Julio first.

Julio

Julio's month of June was positively scorching. Without having the numbers handy, we'll guess that he hit something like .420 over the course of 69 at-bats. It was really impressive. Will Julio's July follow suit? Well, our sources here at GPC inform us that Julio means "July" in some other language (probably Latin, the dominant language spoken while he was growing up). So, chances are good that Julio will have a great July! Bet on it!

Last week, Julio appeared in four games,startingg just one. In this start (on June 29th), Julio went 1-5 with a walk and a run scored in a 13-inning 6-5 loss to the Marlins. This game was notable for Julio only in that it was the longest one he played in from start to finish. The six plate appearances were a season high, as were the five pitchers he faced.

Playing 13 innings on the 29th must have worn Julio out for the rest of the week, as the rest of his appearances were in the role of pinch-hitter. But they were all successful. On the 30th he smoked an RBI double (in a losing effort), on the 2nd he singled and scored (in a losing effort), and on the 3rd he hit an RBI ground-out. Seeing as how the Braves won this game by a run, Julio's RBI groundout could be seen as the most important moment of the game. Who cares what else happened?

For the week, Julio went 3-8 with a walk, 2 runs scored, and 2 RBIs. His average is up to a very healthy .281 for the year. As a pinch-hitter he is now hitting a scorching .348 (8-23).

Oldest Pitcher Faced (week): Al Leiter, Marlins, 39 (85 cumulative years in that match-up).
Oldest Pitcher Faced (year): Roger Clemens, Astros, 42.
Youngest Pitcher Faced (week): Ryan Madson, Phillies, 24 (born at a time in Julio's life when he was still a tough guy. You wouldn't want to have made him mad, son. Madson. You gotta stretch sometimes).
Youngest Pitcher Faced (year): Gavin Floyd, Phillies, 22.
Total Pitchers Faced (week): 7, who were a combined 113 years younger than Julio (avg. 16.1 years younger).
Total Pitchers Faced (year): 72, who have been a combined 1179 years younger than Julio (avg. 16.4 years younger).

John

Okay, remember when way up in the intro to this column we said that there were no "ignominious acts of grating failure" for our heroes this week? That was a lie. That was pretty much all John's week was. He only appeared in one game, on July 1st against the Reds. It didn't go well. He entered the game in the 8th inning with 1 out and no one on the 8th inning, his Astros leading 10-4. So he had some breathing room, which is no doubt why he was left in the game to face a season high 6 batters. 6 batters! For John that is like pitching a 13 inning complete game. Hopefully he will not need reconstructive elbow surgery. Here's how John's outing went:
Batter #1: single
#2: Walk
#3: strikeout
#4: single (bases are now loaded)
#5: three-run, bases-clearing double
#6: ground out

So, John was charged with three runs in his 2/3rds of an inning of work. This raises his ERA to a hard-to-look-at 7.20 (his highest ERA since the end of May). Opponents are hitting .343 against him. He has allowed 8 of 25 inherited runners to score.

Looking for a silver lining? How about two silver linings, rapturously melting into one another to form a gold lining? Silver Lining #1: The Astros still won the game, 10-7. #2: That ground out at the end of the inning? That was Sean Casey, who previous to that at-bat had been 4-4 off of John this year. He is now hitting a much more modest .800 off of him.

Oldest Batter Faced (week): Rich Aurilia, Reds, 33 (77 cumulative years in that match-up).
Oldest Batter Faced (year): Rafael Palmeiro, Orioles, 40.
Youngest Batter Faced (week): Ray Olmedo, Reds, 24 (born while John was in the midst of a Farrah Fawcett-inspired nocturnal emission).
Youngest Batter Faced (year): Jose Reyes, Mets, 21.
Total Batters Faced (week): 6, who were a combined 97 years younger than John (avg. 16.2 years younger).
Total Batters Faced (year): 56, who have been a combined 819 years younger than John (avg. 14.6 years younger).

This is the best, most funniest baseball writing on the planet.

Al Leiter Battle for ERA Qualification (6/27-7/3)

We're almost back up to speed at GPC headquarters. Yes, it's Tuesday, and Yes, Al Leiter's Battle for ERA Qualification should arrive on Monday. But yesterday was a holiday, dammit! Celebrating our nation's independence took precedence over writing about Al Leiter and his ERA.

Back to life, back to reality, back to these, uh, foolish games or something like that. Now back to regular scheduled programming, in which...in which....in which...

in which we track the 39 year-old Marlins lefty in his quest for 162 Innings Pitched. Yeah, that's it!

Al's ERA: 6.45
Innings Pitched: 74
Marlins Games: 80
Qualifies?: No! (-6 innings)

(To qualify for the ERA title, a pitcher must average at least 1 inning pitched for each game played. In the NL, 54 pitchers currently qualify for the ERA title.)

So what's the deal with Al Leiter and his ERA? I'll tell you!

For the 6th update in a row, Al does not qualify for the ERA title. He's 6 innings off the pace, a season high.

Ugh. Al did start once this past week, but it was the sort of maddening, middling, mediocre start that has Al saying "I'm pitching like malarkey! I must get of this malaise!"

Al's start was on June 29th against the Atlanta Braves, in which he pitched 4.1 innings, allowing 4 runs, 4 walks, 4 strikeouts, and 8 hits. He only threw 82 pitches, a very small number given Al's tendency to be a nibbler on the mound.

While Al was no doubt displeased with his performance (which raised his ERA 12 points to it's current 6.45), he surely took solace in the fact that his Marlins won the game, 6-5 in 13 innings. This is the fourth straight start of Al's that the Marlins have won, raising their record to 6-9 in the 15 games in which Al has started. Silver linings, silver linings, we bring tidings, of silver linings...

Second Inning Update: Al hates the second inning. It is his trouble inning. On the 29th, he did not escape unscathed, allowing a home-run to 38 year-old Brian Jordan. Of the 54 runs Al has allowed this year, 27 (50%) have been in the second inning.

Tough times for Al continue. Rumors abound that he's headed to the Marlins bullpen. Stay tuned next week for the latest info on that revoltin' development. But, no matter what happens, you can be assured that we will be following (and supporting) Al every step of the way.

Remember...remember...remember...

YOU CAN'T SPELL AL LEITER WITHOUT ERA!!!

Greased Poker Chips Triple Shot!

It's been a very hectic week at Greased Poker Chips headquarters. Time, that elusive bitch, was in very short supply. Updates went un-updated. Well, reader (s), you're in for a treat. All of GPC''s weekly content is right here in one easy-to-digest posting. Easy to digest if you're a Komono Dragon, that is.

Al Leiter ERA Qualification Update (6/20-6/26)

in which we track the 39 year-old Marlins lefty in his quest for 162 Innings Pitched.

Al's ERA: 6.33
Innings Pitched: 69.2
Marlins Games: 72
Qualifies?: No! (-2.1 innings)

(To qualify for the ERA title, a pitcher must average at least 1 inning pitched for each game played. In the NL, 56 pitchers currently qualify for the ERA title.)

So what's the deal with Al Leiter and his ERA? I'll tell you!

Well, this was the record 5th straight week that Al did not qualify for the ERA title. But, as usual, he is just a smidgen, a fraction, a hair away from ERA qualification. His chronic inability to qualify will make it that much sweeter when (not if) he makes it back to qualifying status. You've gotta believe! Honor the ghost of Tug McGraw by believing, and maybe one day your loins will produce a country music superstar.

For the record, Al had one start this week. He pitched 6.1 innings (a mighty amount), allowing four runs in what was an eventual 7-4 Marlins win. Not bad, Al, not bad. It was the third straight Leiter start in which the Marlins won. They are now 5-9 in his 14 starts.

And what of the second inning, Al's arch-nemesis inning?

He allowed nary a run. Take that, second inning.

Greased Poker Chips apologizes to those who feel the tracking of Al Leiter's ERA is too obscure an endeavor. Please, bear in mind, it's all a matter of perspective. There are some individuals who may feel solving the genocide in Sudan is too obscure a matter. I disagree.

The moral? Nothing's obscure. Not genocide, and not Al Leiter's ERA, that's for damn sure.

You know what else? I'll tell you what:

YOU CAN'T SPELL AL LEITER WITHOUT ERA!

And you can't defeat Greased Poker Chips.

The Franco-Files #12 (6/22-6/28)

in which we track the exploits of Julio and John Franco, baseball’s two oldest players. They are both named J. Franco. Don't forget that.

Alright. Here we go. Deep breath. It's hard sometimes. Life is hard sometimes. It's hard to clear one's mind and focus on the divine, all-knowing, almighty, omniscient eye of Julio and John. In their human forms, they have two eyes apiece. But, as has already been established on these pages, Julio and John combined equal the supreme lifeforce of that which cannot be named. Yahweh.

As surely as a cat's 8th life expires as a result of auto-erotic asphyxiation do we check in with Julio first.
Christ. Does anyone read this? I try really hard, but then push everyone away. I mean, we try hard. We push everyone away. All of us here at Greased Poker Chips.

Julio

Julio's scorching month of June continues! Last week, we marveled at Julio's multi-homerun game. It would seem that there is very little left to accomplish for Julio. Wrong! There is always something for Julio to accomplish. Just check this out. Julio appeared in 4 games this week, starting 3 of them. The first game of the week (on 6/23) was the worst, a listless 0-3 against Dontrelle Willis. Julio rode the D-Train straight to the bench after each at-bat. But wait...

On June 25th, Julio kicked things into gear, going 2-4 with an RBI. Julio's first hit of the game was a bunt single to lead off the inning! A 46 year-old man bunting for a single, you just have to love it.

But you know what you have to love more than that? A 46 year-old man hitting a pinch grand slam! Holy shit, Julio did just that on June 27th against the Marlins. With the Braves up 3-1 in the top of the 8th, Julio was called in to face Valerio De Los Santos with one out and the bases loaded. And he connected for a grand slam! Julio already owned the record for oldest player to hit a grand slam and oldest player to hit a pinch home-run, so you can be damn sure he's the oldest player to hit a pinch-hit grand slam. Valerio De Los Santos was so distraught that he changed his name after the game to Valerio De Los Sad-tos. Because he was sad.

It's hard to top a pinch grand slam, but Julio still shined in his fourth and final game this week, on June 28th. He once again went 0-3 against Dontrelle Willis, but he also managed a sacrifice fly against him, his first of the year. Then, once the D-Train was off the tracks, Julio hit a two-run triple off of Chris Resop. A triple, the hardest of all extra-base hits. Hey Chris Resop, nice try. You should take some of those fables you wrote to heart. Don't allow 3-base hits to men more than twice your age. You're a hare and Julio is the tortoise. The tortoise wins.

Julio is now batting a robust .275 for the year, up 8 points from last week. Tip your hat to him.

Oldest Pitcher Faced (week): Steve Kline, Orioles, 32 (still 14 years younger than Julio).
Oldest Pitcher Faced (year): Roger Clemens, Astros, 42.
Youngest Pitcher Faced (week): Chris Resop, Marlins, 22 (born when Julio was 24).
Youngest Pitcher Faced (year): Gavin Floyd, Phillies, 22.
Total Pitchers Faced (week): 6, who were a combined 117 years younger than Julio (avg. 19.5 years younger).
Total Pitchers Faced (year): 69, who have been a combined 1118 years younger than Julio (avg. 16.2 years younger).

John

When we last left John, he was in the midst of a straek in which he had retired five batters in a row, not bad for an old fella who often only faces 1 or 2 batters an appearance. Well, that streak continued into this week. On June 22nd, Franco once again entered a game right after Roger Clemens. And he picked up right where Roger left off, recording a 1-2-3 8th inning, running his streak to 8 straight batters retired (tied for his season high).

And that streak ran to 9, when John pitched on June 25th against the Rangers. John entered the game with one out and a runner on first, and promptly retired Kevin Mench. Unfortunately, the streak stopped there, as Michael Young singled and Mar Texeira walked. No matter, John struck out Hank Blalock to end the inning, no damage done.

Unfortunately, damage was done on June 28th against Colorado, as John was one of three Astro relievers who blew a 5-1 lead in the 8th inning. John entered with runners on first and second and one out. He then retired Luis Gonzalez (imposter Luis Gonzalez, he of the Rockies), but soon allowed an RBI single to Todd Helton and was summarily yanked. Helton later scored on a Garret Atkins grand slam allowed by Russ Springer, which raised John's era to it's current 5.65 (still down from last week).

John, you're doing alright. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Also, none of this maddening double-spacing is your fault.

Oldest Batter Faced (week): Todd Helton, Rockies, 31 (still 13 years younger than John)

Oldest Batter Faced (year): Rafael Palmeiro, Orioles, 40.

Youngest Batter Faced (week): Hank Blalock, Rangers, 24.

Youngest Batter Faced (year): Jose Reyes, Mets, 21.

Total Batters Faced (week): 9, who were a combined 152 years younger than John (avg. 16.9 years younger).

Total Batters Faced (year): 47, who have been a combined 754 years younger than John (avg. 14.5 years younger).

Back Page Barometer (6/25-7/1)

In which we gauge the popularity of New York’s major league franchises by using the ultimate indicator: appearances on the back page of The Post and The Daily News.

Visit here to see the headlines each day :

www.nydailynews.com/front/covers

www.nypost.com/frontback.html

Some confounding coverage to discuss this week. But first, let's check the numbers:

Total Baseball Covers: 14 (7 positive, 6 negative, 1 neutral)

News: 7 (3 positive, 4 negative)

Post: 7 (4 positive, 2 negative, 1 neutral)

Yankee Covers: 10 (4 positive, 6 negative)

News: 6 (2 positive, 4 negative)

Post: 4 (2 positive, 2 negative)

Met Covers: 3 (positive)

News: 1

Post: 2

Both: 1 (neutral)

Post: 1

News: 0

Alright, we're gonna ignore the Subway Series coverage (in which the Mets and Yanks netted three covers apiece for the week) and cut right to the main tabloid event of the week: the Post's back-page on 6/29, which dealt with a rumored Mets-Yankees trade that would have sent Mike Cameron to the Yankees and Gary Sheffield to the Mets. This cover featured Cameron on one side, Sheffield on the other. The headline was a good one: "Sock Exchange". The problem was that this was the year's first cover that went 100% equally to both teams, neccessitating a new "both" category in the weekly back-page tally. And not only that, this cover had no "positive" or "negative" slant, again neccesitating the brand-new "neutral" designation.

Perhaps this has no relevance outside the world of Greased Poker Chips, but it really messed things up around here. Fortunately, the fallout of the headline resulted in the most common and comforting of back pages: Yankees negativity. It seems that Gary Sheffield didn't take too kindly to these rumors, and made it abundantly clear he would not accept such a trade. The News kept up on this story all the way though today (the 1st), while the Post spun off into a new angle on Sheffield negativity, this time dealing with his two-game suspension for bumping umpire C.B. Bucknor last Sunday. Who knows how long this particular strain of negativity will last. And speaking of negativity, check out the...

Headline of the Week: Post, June 30th. The Yankees cut relievers Mike Stanton and Paul Quantrill, and the Post responded with the headline "Bullpen Bloodbath". This is hysterically overwrought as it is, but even more so when one considers the fact that the word "bloodbath" was in red. What, did the Yankees literally cut Messrs. Stanton and Quantrill, stabbing them through their pinstriped chests?

Season Totals: (there have been 3.6 Yankee covers for every Met cover).

Baseball Covers: 163 (77 positive, 85 negative, 1 neutral)*

News: 81 (38 positive, 43 negative)

Post: 82 (39 positive, 42 negative, 1 neutral)

Yankee Covers: 126 (56 positive, 70 negative)

News: 62 (27 positive, 35 negative)

Post: 64 (29 positive, 35 negative)

Met Covers: 35 (21 positive, 14 negative)

News: 19 (11 positive, 8 negative)

Post: 16 (10 positive, 6 negative)

*(there has been one baseball cover unrelated to Mets or Yankees, and one that featured both equally)

Thanks for hanging in with this massive update. I love you all.